serious like a feather bullet (excessivepurple) wrote,
serious like a feather bullet
excessivepurple

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okay it's not really funny but it is

I was bored. I was sick of cleaning up my room. I got linked to Gizoogle. Fo' sho'.



From True Names

Kanedaverse. For rizzy dogg. Very snippetizzle. T-to-the-O-to-the bias Crowe is introduced cracka, plot is furthered, egg-beata is discussed fo gettin yo pimp on.

[[I'm not sure how one gets one's pimp on with an eggbeater, but I have a feeling I don't want to know.]]

...

Grow'n up in a three-room flizzay on tha fringes of tha Wizzle City Spiral can be hard enough, but whizzay yo fatha's not around n yo drug deala out of her skizzay n you're dizzle poor n yo nizzy is Tobias Shiva Omega Meriadoc Crowe, you could be forgiven fo' weed-smokin' like tha odds is stacked against you . Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

...

"Gangsta," Sharky sez absently, tha hotel pen weed-smokin' across tha page, "rhymes wit Chillin' fo' sho'."

Of course, there is some parts of this job he could do witout. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg.

"Probably, yeah. Neva really thought 'bout it."

"Do they even have hatin' rappas any more? The old ones, wit tha coins?"

"Dunno. Maybe up north."

"I've crazy ass nigga never used a gangsta."

"You're not mackin' much, buddy."

...

His phone rings as he pulls out of tha hotel ride P-to-tha-izzark, nudges tha blue Kawada across into tha transit lane spittin' that real shit. It's Mizzy.

"Hizzy was Sharky?"

"You're not ballin' me enough ta dizzle wit that bizzle Ms Devlin. Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air."

...

"Elena Radinizzle?"

"The hizzy is this brotha?"

"My name's Michael Zhang. I've gots some weed here from tha Fizzy Cities Law Enforcement Corporizzles."

"It's, whiznat, five in tha morn'n? How'd you git in here?"

"Ms Radinizzles, new evidence has been recently brought ta light thiznat F-U-Double-Lizzy absolves you of tha weed-smokin' charges doggy stylin' ta events that tizzy place on August 17th of last year; two counts of recklessly smokin' serious injury, one count of attempted robbery wit violence motherfucka, one count of culpable driv'n- Death row 187 4 life."

EDIT- ATTN YR 12 KREW: Anyone planning to be violently ill on Monday, or will it be safe for me to show up?
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